The two of us have
accomplished many things in life that we’re proud of, both together and
individually. Lately I’ve realized much
of it wouldn’t have happened without each other. I can feel sorry for those who never had a
confederate with whom to wade into the deeper waters, or someone to prod them
when sitting down appeared to be the safer option. It turns out life isn’t about security. Smarter folks than I have said it’s about
challenge. And it’s best done with a partner.
Looking back, I realize I
knew nothing about how to find a partner,. But when the first likely candidate came over the horizon, I didn’t hesitate, I
married her. Something told me there
wouldn’t be another. And I was
right. Of the women I’ve known over the
past half century, none would have been a better partner for me. Nor would any have put up with my quirks or
temperament, a mild way of describing my personality.
It took a special woman to
pack up the house and to move everything we owned from city to city while I
carved out a career in different locations.
It required an attitude of fairness to balance our tasks when later she
pursued her own professional goals.
And after buying what the ad
described as a “lovely old farmhouse,” it took a mutual sense of humor to
lighten the nights and weekends of sawing, nailing, and painting, often cursing
our way to the finish line. More than mutual
goals, of course, our journey took courage and a devotion to one another. It
enabled us to deal with the losses and heartaches of a normal life, and to the
lives of our children as well. An ideal
partner is a loving anchor to the other, and an occasional inspiration too.
I can’t think of a better
synonym for spouse than partner. We
scream and yell and curse and blame and stamp our feet … me … and cry and
change our minds and change them again … her … and sometimes stagger on our way
under the weight of misgivings and doubts.
But without each other’s encouragement, we’d never start the journey. Without each other’s solace, we’d often be
tempted to turn around and go home. But
when a home is what you are building, there’s no where to go except to each
other.
Stumbling around in the
occasional darkness of life is best not done alone. My partner and I have weathered many stormy
nights on the trail, but we arrived at places neither of us would have reached on
our own.
Copyright 2009, David Griffin
The Windswept Press
Murrells
Inlet, South Carolina
